'Both bland and ridiculous': Critics scathing of and confused by New Zealand-shot Netflix film The Royal Treatment

Reviews for New Zealand's second bash at a Netflix rom-com,The Royal Treatment, are streaming in, and like the film, they’re a bit all over the place.

The movie, which dresses up Dunedin landmarks as New York City and the fictional country of Lavania (East of A Christmas Prince’s Aldovia) was released on the global streaming giant on Thursday, and a handful of critics – including Stuff's James Croot – have done the mahi to make your Friday evening flick selection faster.

The film is currently sitting at a 60 per cent rating on aggregate site Rotten Tomatoes, with critics sparing no burn.

“Like a drug store chocolate bar, it just is,” writes Lindsey Bahr for the Assosciated Press. “It might not be good for you, but it'll go down shockingly easy, give you a minor sugar high (and possible headache) and disappear from your memory just as quickly.”

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“Anyone familiar with Princes, George and the surrounding inner-city streets will quickly be able to recognise local landmarks in the opening scenes, despite the yellow cab and train-filled backgrounds – clearly added in post-production,” says Croot of his hometown.

“Larnach Castle and the Otago Peninsula get their chances to shine, while Hollywood magic allows the University of Otago campus and Ōamaru’s Victorian precinct to be just an alleyway away from one another.

“Unfortunately, playing spot-the-location (and the local actors) is about the sole highlight of what is truly a flimsy, forgettable farce.”

His is perhaps the harshest of the reviews published thus far, however even non-Kiwis have made a point of noting the confusing blend of locations, and how this fictional European country seems to have only two streets.

New York Times critic Amy Nicholson writes “it feels petty to sniff that the couple has the chemistry of tap water,” when director Rick Jacobson seems to have taken no care with his own creation.

“Not only can’t the Lavanians agree on an accent, but the structures that make up the king’s castle can’t agree on an architecture style, settling on a bizarre mix of mildewed gargoyles and modernist solariums,” she says, which feels more like a dig on Dunedin’s architecture than the actual film.

In defence of the Edinburgh-of-the-south, Croot says: “juxtaposing the Uni with Ōamaru and Olveston didn't help.”

But Bahr of AP says the filmmakers have used one singular drone shot of a castle several times. She says the best thing going for “this very generic endeavour” is Disney Channel alum Laura Marano, who plays Manhattan hair stylist Izzy.

“But for as generally appealing as Izzy is, [her love interest] Prince Thomas is woefully underdeveloped... His character is somehow both bland and ridiculous.”

The main characters attempt a smorgasbord of accents, but the locals hired to play the non-royal Lavanians, speaking in their broad Kiwi voices, fail to pass for Eastern European.

“The neighbourhood's eastern European vibe does not match the villagers’ Kiwi accents (the film was shot in New Zealand but rarely looks it),” writes Carla Meyer for the San Francisco Chronicle, ”just as the Disneyland feel of the neighbourhood does not match its billing as impoverished. We specify Disneyland here rather than Disney because the extras’ ebullient acting is park-level, not studio-level.”

But it’s not all bad.

If you’re still searching for a line to read out to your flatmates to suck them into this selection, this is the link you’re after: for Variety reviewer Courtney HowardThe Royal Treatment is another winningly progressive modernisation of a fantasy.

“[It] takes expected genre trappings and infuses them with unexpected delights, creating an enlightened, enchanting and entertaining feature.”

She goes so far as to say the movie holds its own against The Princess Diaries, whose fictional land of Genovia is referenced by Izzy in an early scene. (The Princess Diaries starring Anne Hathaway was a surprise hit in 2001 that grossed over US$165 million at the international box office)

But that point is up for debate. “Though there is some fun to be had both intentionally and unintentionally,” Bahr counters, “this is no Princess Diaries – not even close.

“Nor is it a ‘good movie’.”

However, she makes the astute observation: “That also assumes that it’s possible to judge ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in this very strange and specific kind of Hallmark Channel-style modern fairytale.”